Kids Say the Darnedest Things

So today's funny conversation at school went like this:

Student: Mrs. Reeves, can I get a drink of water, I feel sick.

Me: Where do you feel bad? Your head? Stomach?

Student: My stomach hurts.

Me: Well why don't you go to the bathroom.

Student: And my head feels like I learned too much today.

Me: Why don't you go to the bathroom and get some water and see if that helps.
(like drinking water out of the water fountain is going to drain some of the knowledge that was "swelling" the brain)

The student come back in and the story continues:

Me: Did you go to the bathroom? Do you feel better? Did you get sick?

Student: No. Do you know what this stuff is that's peeling off my fingernail.

Me: No, I don't. But, do you feel ok?

Student: Can I go call my mom about something really important.

Me: We go home in 35 minutes. What's so important that you just thought about it and it can't wait 35 minutes.

Student: I need to tell my mom I'm biting my fingernails again.

Me: That can wait till you get home.

A day in the life...Don't you wish you had my job!
On a different, more personal note: Drew was pretending to give me a bath (while I was fully clothed) and found a mole on my neck. He said, "What's that? A little poopy?" I died laughing.